Greeting and toast.
Time flies so fast. Its the end of May.
A simple call and offer letter which I receive last two days totally disturb and bugging my insanity. The way I think the way I act. Too much to do in a very short time. Too much too think before the time comes. Too much too leave to receive the new one. Too much consequences to bare in future before you could turn things back to normal. Nay, I'm not trying to say that I'm not grateful enough when there's thousands out there wanting and hoping for such offer that I received. It just that. Too drastic. Yes, too soon and drastic in a very limited time to think to consider to decide.
At this age, I didn't have the chance to fly gracefully to dance over the freedom which I suppose to gain whenever you reach the legal age. At this moment, responsibilities are part of me. Which, I honestly felt the burden and it haunt me. No, I'm not complaining. Well, in a few cases, Yes, I did. But, given with the best gift from God which is akal. It is acceptable. I knew this is the route that I should take.
But, tremendous changes like this. When heart says no and your brain say yes. This is soo sickening. I'm in love with what I have currently. Grateful enough with everything I have. When there's a better choices provided, obviously I want it. Human are born with greed. But to get something, you have to lose something. Sacrifices needed to reach there. Tell me, that I'm paranoid. Yes I do. What if I leave, and the people that I left back then changed 360 degree right after I'm gone? How am I suppose to coop with this new environment? I dunno anyone there. I dunno how the place looks like. I dunno where to stay. How am I suppose to manage whenever I'm here all my beloved are always there for me?
In order to succeed , sacrifice needed. Question here, am I willing to do so? To leave my comfort zone? Should I? I'm having some personal identity conflict inside. I dunno where to turn to. I dunno which could be better. I don't have thatPintu Suka Hati so that I can visit my future and decide.
Damn.
I is confused.
At this age, I didn't have the chance to fly gracefully to dance over the freedom which I suppose to gain whenever you reach the legal age. At this moment, responsibilities are part of me. Which, I honestly felt the burden and it haunt me. No, I'm not complaining. Well, in a few cases, Yes, I did. But, given with the best gift from God which is akal. It is acceptable. I knew this is the route that I should take.
But, tremendous changes like this. When heart says no and your brain say yes. This is soo sickening. I'm in love with what I have currently. Grateful enough with everything I have. When there's a better choices provided, obviously I want it. Human are born with greed. But to get something, you have to lose something. Sacrifices needed to reach there. Tell me, that I'm paranoid. Yes I do. What if I leave, and the people that I left back then changed 360 degree right after I'm gone? How am I suppose to coop with this new environment? I dunno anyone there. I dunno how the place looks like. I dunno where to stay. How am I suppose to manage whenever I'm here all my beloved are always there for me?
In order to succeed , sacrifice needed. Question here, am I willing to do so? To leave my comfort zone? Should I? I'm having some personal identity conflict inside. I dunno where to turn to. I dunno which could be better. I don't have that
Damn.
I is confused.
No comments:
Post a Comment